Double-button.

Ah, the infamous double-button flush mechanism. It has intrigued and captivated. Even baffled and fooled scholars. For years.

Shrouded in mystery, rumors fly about this little device. Does the big button create a bigger flush? Or is this some kinda optical illusion where the little guy unleashes a fury of roaring, rushing aqua washing your business below?

After tedious testing, they both expel about the same damn amount of water. But that doesn't mean that they can't change their minds. Next time, our results might shock and surprise you. Unpredictable. Simply unpredictable. There are no sure bets here.

But we have found miniscule insight into the nature of this beast from a distant relative, believed to be of the same genus. The equal-sized button double-button flushing machine. And if you look real close, the button on the left has a larger drop of water than the button on the right. But we've yet to determine if these rules hold true for the non-equal-sized double-button flush mechanism, or if it even means anything here. In these early stages, all signs point to ancient plastic etchings being meaningless.

Seriously. No one's figured this one out yet.

Stomp flush.

I'm a big fan of this one. It's different and interesting. Plus it involves touching nothing that you wouldn't already touch. Stomps away.

Ship toilet.

More helpful than normal. Make sure waste goes down instead of up. No right. No left. Just down. Even in choppy waters.

Does it just get flushed out to sea? That'd be nifty.

Goal.

Celebrate Koelsch Karneval with a penalty shot.

This one was fun, especially when you've got a full bladder after a full day of Karneval drinking. See how many balls you knock through that net. I must've scored upwards of 30 or 40 goals.

My house in Cologne (when I studied aboard there) even had its own urinal right next to the normal toilet. That was probably the most fruitful period of my life. Or most convenient after Freibier* at Roonburg.

Maybe Cologne is just a special place in the world when it comes to urinals.

*Freibier = Unlimited Koelsch for 2 hours

Train toilet.

Supposedly you push this button on the opposite wall. Assuming that there will be some water to rinse out the bowl. In reality, it all just leaks out onto the tracks. You don't need to see the rest to know it's not all that tip-top.

Using public facilities.

Watch out for broken off toilet seats... or possibly there was never one there at all. Found commonly in public restrooms.

But it's not so different from the average American interstate rest stop.

One difference, I don't think I've seen toilet seat covers in Europe. Maybe it's just an American phenomenon and/or phobia. Bring yo' own stack if you gotta stay sanitary while here.

Also commonly included: insightful graffiti, witty poetry, simple vulgarity, or phone numbers. In this case, a simple how-to for uninformed users or newbies.

It was an itsy bitsy teenie weenie.

Here we have an example of the smaller water tank commonly found around here, on toilets that have tanks behind the seat that is.

Also, instead of a flusher handle like on most American toilets we have a large, plastic button on the top.

Also, garbage cans next to the toilet are common so you don't flush everything. I'll spare you the details.

How do you pronounce that?

Ask the French. Anyways, it's commonly found in most homes either next to or opposite the toilet.

What do you use it for, you ask? Cleanin' shit. Literally. I can't explain this one to you. You gotta figure it out for yourself.

Just make sure you read the instructions first before peeing in it or attempting to drink from it.