Way, way worse.

Now... it could have been dirtier and smellier. And at least I wasn't flanked on each side by squatting, grunting old men like in Belgrade. I did have my privacy. I'll give them that.

The worst part was the flush. Use the red contraption under the faucet. Wash it away... wash it all away, out of sight.

There. Don't you feel better now?

Way better than us.

In an ultra-modern shopping mall in İstanbul, we find the cinema of all cinemas. Well, I didn't actually see a film here but I did use their bathroom. And if the theater is anything like the pisser, it's pretty f'ing sweet.

They've even got little monitors in every stall.


But what gives?!?! How the hell am I supposed to watch this screen? It's behind my head! Hmmm, maybe some reverse squat, side-saddle technique. Damn these cultural differences.

Oh those Turks! They've thought of everything. BAM! Mirrors on the back of the door.

The experience is everything.

It was good for me. Was it good for you? Thanks Rogue Brewing.

Some people have it better than us.

The Germans. And their super-sleek, ultra-modern BMW Welt. The showroom of all showroom's where you can test drive cars inside the building, combust frickin' hydrogen particles to start an engine, touch screens to customize cars, and poop in the future.

It wasn't really anything especially special, but after urinal troughs and piss-covered Oktoberfest floors, this clean, pristine environ was a welcome German embrace.

I'm pretty sure a jolly lil' guy comes in after your done and does the flushing for you.

Culture shock.

So what is the biggest difference between American and European toilets?

Water, wasser, acqua, eau, agua, voda, bодa, νερό, su, apă, aqua, vìppita, aba.

Pee under extreme precaution... I hear there could be splash back.

Nobody likes a splasher.