Revolution or devolution.

Here is the future.



And here are the facts.

At least now men of the world can unite and pee green.

Sorry ladies, this eco-friendly pissing thing is a gentleman's only club. In fact, as progressive alpha males, we could solve this issue by ditching the toilet all together and going behind a tree. In the bushes. Between parked cars. Behind a dumpster.

Or maybe with some black-socked, beer-guzzling Germans along a fence... next to the porta-potties.

But who wants to relieve themselves in a smelly, plastic box that's been roasting in the sun all day? Not me. I'll embrace the group session along the fence.

Some people have it better than us.

The Germans. And their super-sleek, ultra-modern BMW Welt. The showroom of all showroom's where you can test drive cars inside the building, combust frickin' hydrogen particles to start an engine, touch screens to customize cars, and poop in the future.

It wasn't really anything especially special, but after urinal troughs and piss-covered Oktoberfest floors, this clean, pristine environ was a welcome German embrace.

I'm pretty sure a jolly lil' guy comes in after your done and does the flushing for you.

Goal.

Celebrate Koelsch Karneval with a penalty shot.

This one was fun, especially when you've got a full bladder after a full day of Karneval drinking. See how many balls you knock through that net. I must've scored upwards of 30 or 40 goals.

My house in Cologne (when I studied aboard there) even had its own urinal right next to the normal toilet. That was probably the most fruitful period of my life. Or most convenient after Freibier* at Roonburg.

Maybe Cologne is just a special place in the world when it comes to urinals.

*Freibier = Unlimited Koelsch for 2 hours