Ceiling flush.

Comfortable sitting there, huh?

Yeah, that's right.

Above your head.

Can't flush this one sitting down.

Terrible.

Just plain bad design.

Let's take a closer look.

Yep, I'm not sticking my finger in there.

Park pot II: a popular attraction.

The most inefficient public toilet in San Francisco.

The alleged intricacies: A cleaning cycle lasts for 5 minutes after EVERY use. "The City of San Francisco assumes that all tourists near Pier 39 are the filth of the earth."

The alleged complexities: A revolving, cyndrilical door rotates open allowing only one adult inside at a time. "The City of San Francisco aims to reduce the chances for hanky panky inside our Pier 39 pot."

"Come take a squat at Pier 39." -The City of San Francisco

And thus, there's a bigger line outside of this toilet then the tour to Alcatraz.

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Twist and shout.

Please grip plastic tab firmly between your index finger and thumb. Turn gently clockwise. Flush.

Some people have it better than us.

The Germans. And their super-sleek, ultra-modern BMW Welt. The showroom of all showroom's where you can test drive cars inside the building, combust frickin' hydrogen particles to start an engine, touch screens to customize cars, and poop in the future.

It wasn't really anything especially special, but after urinal troughs and piss-covered Oktoberfest floors, this clean, pristine environ was a welcome German embrace.

I'm pretty sure a jolly lil' guy comes in after your done and does the flushing for you.

Trickster.

Bathroom, a little small and cramped. Also serves as storage room. Toilet, ordinary enough. Go ahead, do your business. Enjoy yourself, why don't you? Maybe whistle a little tune while you go.

Flush. Flush. Why won't you flush? You're pressing the button, but the button doesn't press. Finally, you try the opposite.

Whew. Magically all is whisked away to an amazing place where you no longer have to worry about it ever again. For a few hours at least.

Double-button.

Ah, the infamous double-button flush mechanism. It has intrigued and captivated. Even baffled and fooled scholars. For years.

Shrouded in mystery, rumors fly about this little device. Does the big button create a bigger flush? Or is this some kinda optical illusion where the little guy unleashes a fury of roaring, rushing aqua washing your business below?

After tedious testing, they both expel about the same damn amount of water. But that doesn't mean that they can't change their minds. Next time, our results might shock and surprise you. Unpredictable. Simply unpredictable. There are no sure bets here.

But we have found miniscule insight into the nature of this beast from a distant relative, believed to be of the same genus. The equal-sized button double-button flushing machine. And if you look real close, the button on the left has a larger drop of water than the button on the right. But we've yet to determine if these rules hold true for the non-equal-sized double-button flush mechanism, or if it even means anything here. In these early stages, all signs point to ancient plastic etchings being meaningless.

Seriously. No one's figured this one out yet.

Stomp flush.

I'm a big fan of this one. It's different and interesting. Plus it involves touching nothing that you wouldn't already touch. Stomps away.

Ship toilet.

More helpful than normal. Make sure waste goes down instead of up. No right. No left. Just down. Even in choppy waters.

Does it just get flushed out to sea? That'd be nifty.

Using public facilities.

Watch out for broken off toilet seats... or possibly there was never one there at all. Found commonly in public restrooms.

But it's not so different from the average American interstate rest stop.

One difference, I don't think I've seen toilet seat covers in Europe. Maybe it's just an American phenomenon and/or phobia. Bring yo' own stack if you gotta stay sanitary while here.

Also commonly included: insightful graffiti, witty poetry, simple vulgarity, or phone numbers. In this case, a simple how-to for uninformed users or newbies.

It was an itsy bitsy teenie weenie.

Here we have an example of the smaller water tank commonly found around here, on toilets that have tanks behind the seat that is.

Also, instead of a flusher handle like on most American toilets we have a large, plastic button on the top.

Also, garbage cans next to the toilet are common so you don't flush everything. I'll spare you the details.

Pop a squat.

All the toilets at my school are like this. Just a hole in the ground with some nifty foot grips... so you don't slip, we hope.

Not even the teachers' lavatories are spared any luxury. Each is contained within its own glorious stall with a wall light. One another note, frequently the bathroom light switch is located on the outside of the bathroom. No exception here. And often, they don't work at my school.

Nothing like going in a hole in the dark. At least it flushes powerfully, but still it's only a small step above a porta-potty because odors tend to linger in here.

Can you imagine always having to squat? But apparently this is the way it was meant to be.

If this really interests you, please, I beg you, click on the picture to read more about it.

Getting complicated.

This is in a pizzeria in the hills above Lago di Garda. Often instead of stalls each toilet is located within its own little room, which sometimes includes its own sink.

Flushing the toilet on the right is not so different from mine at home. Okay. But the urinal on the left. That's a different story.


The flusher is actually that little knob on the wall located between the two urinals. One of the stranger methods I've found. It functions like a faucet. You turn it on, let the water run for a moment, and then you gotta turn it off otherwise it will just continue to run.

Now wash your hands and get back to dinner before someone catches you taking pictures in the restaurant bathroom, you creep.

The basics.

We'll start with Italia since that is where I am currently living, but as I travel throughout the summer this documentation will expand.

Here is the toilet in my bathroom. Pretty standard, pretty straightforward. But unlike most American toilets, there is no tank directly behind the seat. Often they are located in the wall, at about eye level (with or without the flusher), or even sometimes way above your head. And the ones located behind the seat are usually much thinner than the standard American tank.

So how do you stop it when the water keeps running? Can't jiggle the handle here.

I dunno, it's never happened. But my toilet sure flushes a lot more powerfully than any in America. It's like one of those super-industrial strength flushes often found in public restrooms. Also the bowl never fills with water, which is why all European toilets, public or private, always have a brush by their side.

With this one you just push the button and wheeee!!!! Off we go.

I poo, you poo, we all poo.

In America, we're very good at standardizing things and having our own system.

We like to offer what we determine is the very best and thus, sometimes it becomes is hard to find things outside of this limited spectrum.

Examples of this include our measurement system for length (inch, foot, yard, mile), volume (quart, gallon), mass (pound), cooking (teaspoon, tablespoon, cup), and temperature (Fahrenheit).

Another thing I've discovered is that in the US we have a limited selection of produce in our grocery stores. Although you can find exotic or diverse fruits and vegetables in the US, you either have to know where to look or search them out. While it wasn't until traveling abroad that I realized all the different types and varieties of simplest things like oranges and bananas.

In general, we get a very specific selection of items that we are allowed to choose from, with only some slight differences between the choices.

This is true also in the fine environment of toilets, restrooms, bathrooms, WC, toilette, banjo, and loos of the world.

Just as the name suggests, this elegant specimen from American Standard is the sleek, white porcelain design seen in virtually every American home.

Now the most important concern here is: How does one flush the toilet?

Without this knowledge, the toilet is rendered useless. You're better off shitting in the woods, like the pope, and saving yourself the embarrassment.

But in the rest of the world there are many other kinds of toilets and many other ways to flush.

Now we do begin to see some variations in the world of public restrooms and men's urinals, but above all in America, the deviation is not all that grand. And I will address these as they arise.

Thus, I encourage toilet education so we are never left wondering how to flush the damn thing. And this blog will be your guide unto the world.